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The only thing worse than the fidget spinner craze is fidget spinner apps

In a matter of weeks, fidget spinners went from something almost nobody had ever heard of to the must-have toy of the season. The anxiety-reducing handheld spinners are so ubiquitous that dozens of developers are trying to cash in on the phenomenon with fidget-spinner themed mobile apps.

People are into it, apparently. So into it that the top game in the iOS app store is a virtual fidget spinner that doesn’t do anything but spin.

The app is called Finger Spinner and it lets you swipe a virtual fidget spinner. You get five swipes to get it to spin as many times as possible, and you earn coins based on how many spins you get. The coins are used to improve the stats of your spinner, and spinning unlocks new spinners that all act the same but are aesthetically different.

It’s quite possibly the worst resource-collecting game I’ve ever played on an iPhone, and it completely misses the point of fidget spinners.

At this point, we’re in week four of spinner mania. What began as a simple spinnable toy that helps people focus, reduce anxiety, and curb fidgety inclinations has grown into a must-have sensation. Spinners are inundating schools, they’re showing up on people’s desks at work. Yeah, I have one, and everyone that stops by my desk can’t help but try it for themselves.

The worst resource-collecting game on iPhone also misses the point of fidget spinners

They’re mindless toys that barely require any attention. You can’t give most kids a spinner and expect them to be enthralled for more than two minutes. So why would it be the star focus of an app?

I can’t figure it out, nor can I figure out why it’s at the top of the iOS app store charts outside of people downloading it out of morbid curiosity.

You can’t swipe the spinner in the app without looking. You can’t feel it spinning. You don’t get to stop it from spinning. You don’t even get to spin it as much as you want — every five swipes you have to stop and click a button to collect your worthless coins and occasionally click through an advertisement to get back to spinning the stupid little virtual spinner.

If you really want a fidget spinner, go get one. They’re ubiquitous. A newspaper stand I walk by on my way to work sells them. I saw a free one sitting on the ground in a subway station. 

Don’t download a fidget spinner app. And if you’re thinking of creating one because Finger Spinner somehow made it to the top of the iOS app store charts, do everyone a favor and stop.

We all know what fidget spinners are. No one is going to play with your app for more than two minutes, just like some people are going to get bored of their real-life spinners after two weeks.

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